How Do You Help an Addict or Alcoholic?

It’s one of the hardest questions anyone can ask: how do you actually help someone struggling with addiction?

It can feel impossible, like there’s a secret you’re missing. But recovery isn’t a riddle. The truth is both simpler and harder to accept: you can’t force it. You can only be ready when they are.

There’s a brief, unpredictable moment when a person becomes willing to accept help. That moment of clarity rarely lasts long. Understanding that timing — and being prepared for it — can make all the difference.

Before we get into what you can do, let’s clear up a few myths that make helping harder than it needs to be.

Myth 1: They have to hit rock bottom

This idea kills people.

“Rock bottom” is a Hollywood invention, a dramatic low point before the turnaround. In real life, there’s no fixed bottom. Addiction erases memory, logic, and consequence. What feels unbearable today can feel manageable tomorrow. Waiting for someone to lose everything isn’t compassion – it’s gambling with their life.

Myth 2: They have to want it

Partly true, but not the full story.

People “want” recovery all the time – after an overdose, after losing a job, after hurting someone they love. But wanting it and being ready for it are two different things. That readiness can appear in a single fleeting moment and vanish just as quickly. That’s why timing, connection, and access matter most.

Myth 3: They have to lose everything

No, they don’t.

Addiction doesn’t care about how much you have to lose. It takes from everyone, in different ways. The sooner someone finds connection and structure, the better their chances of lasting recovery. Early intervention isn’t weakness – it’s wisdom.

What You Can Do

When that moment of willingness comes – when they finally say I need help – you need to be ready. Here’s what that looks like:

1. Know where to send them. Find structured meetings that focus on recovery literature, not just open discussion. The right message, delivered with depth and clarity, can reach someone when nothing else will.
   

2. Get them connected . Addiction isolates. Connection heals. If you don’t know anyone in recovery, call your local Intergroup office – they’ll connect you to meetings and people who can help right away.
   

3. Encourage movement. The 12 Steps are a program of action. Whether it’s calling a sponsor, reading a page, or walking into a meeting, momentum matters more than motivation.
   

4. Lead with empathy, not emotion. You can’t love or shame someone into recovery. Understand that addiction is an illness – physical, mental, and spiritual. Compassion doesn’t mean surrendering boundaries.
   

5. Know your limits. You can guide, support, and encourage – but you can’t carry them. Protect your own well-being so you can be steady when it matters most.

The Window Won’t Stay Open Forever

Recovery often begins in a quiet, fragile moment – a flash of willingness that can close in an instant. Miss it, and the opportunity might disappear for months or years. Catch it, and everything can change.

Helping someone recover isn’t about waiting for a bottom – it’s about being ready when that window opens.